The Healing Power of Self Love and Forgiveness
When I get to the part in my 6 Month Integrative Healing Program about self love and forgiveness of self and others, I find this part to be a bit uncomfortable for most people. Many people have a hard time feeling love for themselves. But feeling true self love can work miracles in your life. Self love is not about vanity or arrogance or being stuck up. That is not love-that is fear. I am talking about having a great respect and reverence for yourself. Seeing yourself as a valuable person. This is not selfish. Your energy is healthier when you love yourself and your energy affects those around you. Here are some ways not to love yourself, see if you recognize yourself in any of these and how it might affect others around you:
• You scold and criticize yourself
• You mistreat your body with unhealthy food and drinks
• You abuse your body in anyway (smoking, drugs, lack of exercise, etc…)
• You believe you are not lovable, worthy or good enough
• You procrastinate on things you know would benefit you
Illness and pain in your body is one indication of not loving yourself. So, if you are suffering from a chronic illness for example, part of the solution may be to work toward self-love. Try this exercise from one of my favorite self healing authors, Louis Hay. Pick up a mirror or go to a mirror in your house. Look into your own eyes and say your name and “I love and accept you exactly as you are.” How did you do? This is very difficult for some people. It’s ok. If you are having a hard time with this, it is actually good news. Now you can begin to look at the real problem-the real core of why your life and health may not be what you wish it to be.
When you start to recognize you are criticizing yourself (self-talk), a good place to begin is to simply STOP! But first, make a list of everything you feel is wrong with you. The bottom line is most people do not feel they are “good enough.” They criticize themselves because they have learned to believe this somewhere along the way to becoming an adult.
Remember, your conscious mind is a tool to use any way you wish to use it. You can use the conscious mind to change those buried unconscious negative beliefs about yourself by telling yourself a new story. Part of self love is self forgiveness and forgiveness of others. It’s about letting go of and releasing past hurt, guilt, blame, sadness, fear, anger and resentment. I believe forgiveness and self love are the answer to almost anything.
I share many tools and exercises in the 6 Month Integrative Healing Program on forgiving self and others and your journey to self love, but here is one, also adopted from Louise Hay, you can do every day. In your journal (if you don’t have one, consider my 40 Day Guided Journal) finish the sentence “I love myself, therefore I will…” You can see that there are many wonderful possible answers for this question! Here are some examples:
• go for a walk today.
• eat mostly healthy, whole foods today
• do at least one thing that brings me joy today
• forgive myself or someone else
• organize something
• meditate for 15 minutes today
• take my vitamins
• watch a favorite show that makes me laugh
• do something kind for someone else today
• let go of fear, anger, resentment
• talk to myself the way I would to someone I love and admire!
Etc…you get the idea.
Always talk positively to yourself. You deserve health, abundance, love and happiness. You are worthy just by being born! Loving yourself raises the vibration in your body (and your cells) and will improve your health and well-being – and your life! Finally, let this all be easy and don’t criticize yourself for not being perfect!
Debra Betterly, PhD is an Integrative Wellness & Life Coach and Metaphysician whose passion is to help women expand their health, joy and purpose in midlife and beyond.
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