Having an inner critic is human nature. We can’t help it. It’s a paradox of sorts. It protects us from pain, but inflicts pain at the same time.
Have you ever thought to yourself at some time in your life, “Well, that was a stupid thing to say, I am such an idiot, I will never do that again!”, but instead of letting it go, think about it over and over, feeling the humiliation multiple times? It’s like you really never want to forget what an idiot you really are so you never do that again!
I have a history of being extremely hard on myself. I even tried to talk to a college professor about this one time. I approached him to seek advice about how to tame this monster (he was my psychology professor). I think he had the same monster because he did not have an answer for me.
I have spent a large part of my life comparing myself unfavorably to others. I think it started in grade school when all the cool girls had the nicest clothes and I wore hand me downs that sometimes barely fit. I was teased and decided I was somehow “less than” because of the clothes I wore.
Funny how as kids, we learn quickly its outside appearances that matter more than who you are inside. I think that’s why I had such an unhealthy obsession with clothes for so long that did not serve me, or my pocketbook.
No matter, we grow up, things change, life goes on, but there is still that part of us filed away that says we are not worthy. Everyone’s experiences are different, and that is just one very small example of how we are trained to believe certain “untruths” about ourselves.
What’s your story? By the time you are 50+, you have most likely stored up many reasons why you are not good enough over the years. They accumulate “behind the scenes” and these negative beliefs can keep you from being your best self today.
They can stop you from taking certain risks to better yourself and your life. They keep you small and safe. And they can completely stop you from creating the midlife and beyond you desire and deserve!
So, how do you know if your limiting beliefs about yourself are keeping you stuck? You know if you are looking at yourself in the mirror and saying “is this it?” You know if you have this nagging feeling that time is running out and you have to do something before it’s too late. You know because you still have so much to give, be and do, but you don’t have a clue why you keep sabotaging yourself!
Seriously! It’s time to let that shit go!!! Practicing self love and self forgiveness are two ways to begin treating yourself like the worthy, limitless woman you really are!
Its not always easy to spot your own limiting beliefs about yourself, and that’s OK. You really don’t have to dig up every single past experience that left you feeling “less than”. You can start from where you are to “change your mind” about yourself and re-discover your true value to the world.
Start today by re-training your brain to fall back in love with YOU. What do you like best about yourself? What are the things about your life you are most proud of? Who do you know who loves you unconditionally, faults and all? What can you do today to show yourself some kindness and self-care?
Finally, when the inner critic wants to chime in, tell it thank you for wanting to protect you and keep you safe, but, you got this!
Debra Betterly, PhD is an Integrative Wellness & Life Coach and Metaphysician whose passion is to help women expand their health, joy and purpose in midlife and beyond.
You can join her free Midlife Mastery “Inner Circle” and receive your free gifts HERE
Her free “10 Day Whole Person Detox Challenge” is offered as a body, mind, Spirit approach to holistic health. Learn more HERE