Using the Law of Relativity to Feel Better
The Law of Relativity says everything in life exists by comparison. For example good only exists because of bad. Nothing is actually good or bad until you have something to compare it to. So nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning that you give it. The good news is you can choose any meaning you want. You can choose to see what is good in ANY situation! You can always compare your situation to another and see that you have it good, or that you have it worse, depending on who you or what are choosing to compare your situation to. I am not talking about judging yourself or others either favorably or unfavorably in comparison. Instead of judging you can use the Law of Relativity to just notice how a situation in your life is different than anothers and the particular meaning you are giving to it.
I once heard a quote that went something like “I felt bad I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet”. If you practice relating your situations to those worse off than you, not in a judgmental way, but in a way that allows your situation to feel better to you in a meaningful way, then you'll always be happy and feel blessed. However if you practice relating to those "perceived" in your own mind as being better off than you are, then you could possibly be quite miserable most of the time.
When you properly use the law of relativity you win. This week in South West Florida where I live, we are being swarmed by these small flies called “love bugs” that are in the process of mating. They are all over the place showing up on windshields and grills of cars and trucks and could be considered a nuisance. As I was running this morning I thought, you know this only happens for a couple of weeks, but I bet there are people who complain about them every single day and make themselves miserable because they have to put up with them. Now, if that person would just stand back from the situation and compare their nuisance with the bugs to the unfortunate people who were slammed by the storms and tornadoes recently in Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia and Tennessee, I’m guessing the love bugs won’t seem so bad in comparison. I’m sure the people who suffered through and with the effects of these storms would gladly have taken a few weeks of love bug season instead.
The same goes with your personal skills and abilities. If you are comparing yourself unfavorably to another's, keep in mind that everyone has certain lessons they’ve conquered or skill sets or abilities that they can do better than you and vice versa. These are what make your life totally unique to who you are. So even to compare or "relate" yourself to those who have similar abilities either favorably or not is a big mistake, because you don’t ever know the full story of their unique circumstances.
When you notice yourself comparing yourself unfavorably to another, and start feeling “less than”, bring yourself back to the meaning you are giving it. You never are, nor could you ever be “less than” anyone else. There are areas in your life and parts of who you are that will shine brighter because of your unique path in life. This is the way of the law of relativity, and within this truth you will become aware of how special you are and all the things in your life you truly have to be grateful for!
Debra Betterly, PhD is an Integrative Wellness & Life Coach and Metaphysician whose passion is to help women in midlife master their body, mind and spirit.
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