“There is no need to go to India or anywhere to find peace. You will find that deep peace of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub.” ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
The quality of your life is up to you, even though your circumstances may seem otherwise. Whatever may be happening to you in your life right now, however good or bad, is not as important as how you choose to respond to it. Your conscious emotional reaction to a circumstance, event or experience will determine how it defines you, your future and your influence in this world.
If you’re experiencing something difficult, this doesn’t mean to ignore your feelings about it. You need to open up to them and honor the emotions that go along with the experience. You won’t be able to shift your energy into new improved feelings and vibrations if you don’t identify, express and honor the original emotions attached to the situation. But instead of becoming a victim and ranting and raving about how unfair life is, how you are being mistreated and what a terrible world this is, the next step is to simply step back and view the situation from a higher point of view.
It helps to understand the energetic implications of how you are choosing to react to any situation. You always have a choice. When life throws you challenges, you can view the situation as an opportunity to grow personally and spiritually or not.
Your vibrational response will always prevail. Your challenges aren’t really challenges if you respond with grace and courage. On the other hand, your successes aren’t really successes if you respond with greed and arrogance either.
The good news is you no longer have to control the external circumstances of your life; you just need to take charge of the meaning you give to them! Your power does not come from forcing change externally, but from mastering your emotional responses to those outside circumstances.
It’s an inside job and it requires that you stay fully conscious and aware, especially in super charged emotional situations. For example, if you’re feeling resentment over not having the type of job you want, your uncomfortable feelings are trying to tell you it’s time to find a new job and your energy is vibrating and sending out signals of misery and unhappiness. Because we know from the Law of Vibration, like attracts like, you will continue to get more things to be miserable and unhappy about unless you choose your emotional reaction to the situation.
Whether you choose to get a new job or not, you still need to change your emotional intention-and therefore your vibration. To do this, you need to take your attention off what’s wrong and find something more positive to focus on. Look for the things that are worthwhile or pleasurable in your job, no matter how small, and begin expecting something good in your work each day. Also, think of all that’s good in your life other than your work and see and feel the value all around you.
By doing so, you will begin to feel the power you have to shift your vibration to one that feels better and it will demonstrate your intention to have a better life experience. The more you do this, the easier it gets and the quicker your experience shifts to something better.
Here are some steps for emotional recovery to practice:
1. Identify and express your feelings by talking about them with someone you trust or writing them down.
2. Give yourself the opportunity to process your initial response. If something is really difficult, take more time. Ask yourself, “What am I making this mean?”
3. Look for something positive to put your focus on. Plan activities you enjoy and get support from your friends.
4. Allow yourself to fluctuate between your old response and the negative feelings that accompany that and the new, more emotionally positive response. Remind yourself you do have the option to think and feel differently about the situation.
Whatever circumstance you find yourself in, honor yourself by choosing the higher path. Acknowledge the joys and redefine your woes. Connect with the higher version of yourself and through that connection look for the peace and blessings that come from the source within.
Debra Betterly, PhD is an Integrative Wellness & Life Coach and Metaphysician whose passion is to help women expand their health, joy and purpose in midlife and beyond.
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