I know I talk a lot about positive thinking and using affirmations to retrain your brain and raise your energetic vibrations for a better quality life, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore life’s challenges and the fear, anger or sadness that often comes along with those challenges. In fact, I think it’s a big mistake to avoid those “negative” emotions because they are just as much a part of who you are as your positive emotions.
I really don’t think any emotions should be categorized as negative or positive anyway. They are just emotions and they are all important and beneficial. If you think you are a bad person for feeling what is known as a negative emotion, you are denying a very important aspect of who you are. You can’t accept just the part of you who is happy and cut off the part of you who is not. Suppressing “negative” emotions is unhealthy and can lead to illness, disease, and depression.
The better option is to embrace the whole of who you are and allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of your emotions. The so-called negative emotions can actually serve you and help you grow.
Have you ever felt insecure and decided to do some self-improvement? Has your sadness ever fueled compassion for another? Has your anger ever inspired you to make a change for the better? Have you ever felt fear, and then learned the extent of your courage? By accepting all of your emotions, you are choosing a richer experience of life. By fully feeling your sadness, you can more fully experience your joy.
When my husband and I were facing the fear of dire financial circumstances in 2009 following the recession, I actually tried to imagine and feel the worst that could happen. By doing this I realized we were going to get through it and be just fine. We took the power we were giving to our fears and re-channeled them into rebuilding our life. We freed up that fear energy so we could come up with new creative solutions for moving forward.
So, yes, it’s helpful to pay attention to your thoughts as they are the precursor to your emotions, which energetically leads to your circumstances. But, don’t let your attempts to be positive cause you to ignore your true feelings. Sometimes thoughts are just tapes in your head from past life experiences that need to be upgraded. And sometimes you will need to fully feel the resulting emotions before you can begin to redirect the kind of thinking that would otherwise derail your realization of creating your best life.
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Debra Betterly, PhD is an Integrative Wellness & Life Coach and Metaphysician whose passion is to help women expand their health, joy and purpose in midlife and beyond.
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