Our ego’s are tricky little devils. One thing our ego does is get us to feel sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going the way we want them to. It does this by reminding us of those buried feelings of unworthiness hiding out in the inner recesses of our minds. You could be going along just fine, feeling good, and everything seems to be going great. Heck, you are doing all the right things! Visualizing, journaling, writing out all the things you are grateful for, and staying in the moment. Then somewhere along the way, WHAM!, something triggers that painful feeling of unworthiness. Maybe you made a mistake, or someone cuts you down, or you fail at something you’ve been working on (or its just not happening fast enough!), or you didn’t get the job or the sale or the raise you really, really wanted.
Yep, this is prime fertilizer for the ego mind. All of a sudden, you cannot remember any of that feel good stuff you’ve been working on because you have just gone into the “downward spiral” of despair, anger, or sadness. It’s at this point when we start thinking, “Poor me, I guess I just don’t have what it takes” or “There must be something wrong with me” or “I’m just not good enough”. The other thing we might do is go into the “Aint it awful’s.” You know what I mean. The “Aint it awful I have to do this, when I really want to be doing that?”, “Aint it awful I can’t have the car (job, relationship, income, happiness…) I desire?”, “Aint it awful this is all taking so long!?”
Whoa!!!! The minute you notice yourself going down this all too familiar path, is the moment to change that negative momentum. I KNOW it’s not easy. We are sooo practiced at our reactions to our particular pain triggers. They have served us so well in soothing our bruised ego’s in the past that we have become conditioned to automatically go there! The problem is that when we are in “Aint it awful” or “Feeling Sorry” mode, we are creating from that mode. We are creating more “Aint it awful” and “Feeling Sorry” circumstance to come into our lives. These feelings do not serve us- they defeat us.
Here are a few “Be Certain of Success” tricks to help you get back into the flow of feeling good.
- Take one of your “Aint it awfuls” and make a gratitude list about it. For example, if you are not where you want to be financially, make a list of how grateful you are for what you DO have! (If you have a car, a computer and a T.V. set, you are in the top 10% of the worlds economic status!) Your list might include: Your current steady paycheck (at least you have one!), your home, never going without food, a warm bed to sleep in, a loving dog, a beautiful park to walk through nearby, etc…
- Remember that any feelings of unworthiness are beliefs given to you by someone else-they do not belong to you. Someone else decided a long time ago that you were unworthy based on his or her own insecurities. You just chose to believe it because you did not know any different. But now you do! You are a child of GOD-you are made of the same energy! How can you possibly be unworthy?
- Try the Emotional Freedom Technique otherwise called “tapping”. It helps release negative emotions that are trapped in your body. Go to http://www.tapping.com for more information.
- There are many other energy clearing techniques to help you let go of unwanted energy including Reiki, Qi Gong, Chakra Balancing and Breath work. You might experiment and find the one(s) that work best for you.
Finally, don’t wait!!! This is the most important of all!! The Universe (God, Source) wants you to have what you want for yourself! It wants you to have abundance, love, happiness and joy. It wants you to have that new job, that successful career, or that great new relationship. But, it can’t give it to you if you are feeling sorry for yourself or don’t feel you deserve it! The energy just doesn’t line up! If you are waiting for that new job, new body, or new partner in order to finally be happy, then you will never receive it. You must BE the happiness you desire RIGHT NOW in order to provide the opening for your good to flow to you. So be the happiness, love, joy and abundance now!
Debra Betterly, PhD is an Integrative Wellness & Life Coach and Metaphysician whose passion is to help women in midlife master their body, mind and spirit.
Her “10 Day Whole Person Detox Challenge” is offered as a free body, mind, Spirit approach to holistic health. Learn more here
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